(｡●-●｡): elizabitchtaylor: film about a group of... →
elizabitchtaylor: film about a group of men getting into shenanigans= “comedy” film about a group of women getting into shenanigans= “chick flick” film about a friendship between two men= “buddy flick” film about a friendship between two women= “chick flick” emotional film about…
iamtonysexual: mortson: sweetsweetdicksinmymouth: dirkdave: PARTY AT MY PLACE i’ve got the alcohol covered i’ll bring some soda ill bring the drugs I’LL BRING THE BITCHES
azulah: what if every blogger on here didn’t actually exist and you were the only real one and you+your blog were just a government run experiment
peetamellarcs: if someone ever cheats on me im going to invite them for a romantic candle lit dinner in a deserted area and then im going to tell them stories about how i killed my ex boyfriend in the woods because he cheated on me and then im going to point to the trees and say “actually those woods right over there” and then im going to blow out the candle and laugh
rosesintheireyes: primisthebomb: and this is where I put all my ships And this is where I’d put all my canon ships IF I HAD ANY
legoolas: do you ever think about the time you spend on this stupid ass website and realize it will literally have no beneficial impact on your future like wtf companies don’t look for experienced bloggers who are fluent in sarcasm and have strong shipper tendencies
people: aren't you a little too old for Pokémon
me: Aerodactyl noise
weeabrostories: one time i was at a christian youth group for church and one of my friends scared me from behind and i screamed “JESUS CHRIST!” and my leader looked at me and as soon as she did i said “is our lord and savior”
me: mom i got all A's
me: mom i cleaned the whole house
me: mom i don't do drugs and i'm not pregnant
mom: is this your cup on the table?
mom: you never do anything right i do for you all day long and you do nothing for me but stress me out you are so out of control you are grounded if you think you had no life before you just wait i can't believe you treat your own mother this way get out of my sight
Pick up lines that would actually work on me:
"Come with me, girl, it'd be A Day To Remember."
"Miss May I take your pants off?"
"We won't be Sleeping With Sirens, fuck, we won't be sleeping at all."
"Babe, let's not move Motionless In White and hurry this shit up?"
"We'll be going at it until we're screaming Bring Me The Horizon."
"Wanna be Falling In Reverse on my bed or?"
"You Me At Six, yeah?"
don’t say nice things to me because i will fall in love with you and die